You Know You're From New Orleans When... |
Your sunglasses fog up when you step outsideIt's too hot! I hate that weather! You reinforce your attic to store Mardi Gras beadsWell, only for a little while, and then they get recycled back in the parades Your baby?s first words are "gumbo" and "whereyat"I don't have a baby... You save newspapers, not for recycling but for tablecloths at crawfish boilsAnd for Shelley's mothers business When you give directions you use "lakeside? and ?riverside' not north & southAlways Your ancestors are buried above the ground.Actually, they aren't. they are kinda underground, but there is a concrete "floor" about 6 ft under....kinda like a box You get on a green trolley car to go to the park and a red one to the French QuarterYup! You listen to holiday songs such as "the 12 yats of Christmas" and "Santa and his reindeer used to live next door"Every year! You walk on the "banquet" (sidewalk) and stand in the "neutral ground" (area of ground between a two sided street) "by ya mommas" (by your mother's house).Well, yeah Someone asks for directions and you stop and help them with a smile Of course! You start an angel food cake with a roux.Something like that... Watching "Wild Kingdom" inspires you to write a cookbook.Not really, no You think a lobster is a crawfish on steroids.Well, it is! You think boudin, hogshead cheese, and a Bud is a bland diet.Well, yeah You think Ground Hog Day and the Boucherie Festival are the same holiday.Kinda... You take a bite of five-alarm chili and reach for the Tabasco.Only if it's not my father's 5-alarm Fred's Lounge in Mamou means more to you than the Grand Ole Opry.Yeah You have an *envie* for something instead of a craving.Yup You use a "#3" washtub to cover your lawn mower or your outboard motor.Nope, I'm from New Orleans, not the bayou! You use two or more pirogues to cover your tomatoes to protect them from the late frost.Usually sheets You use a gill net to play tennis, badminton, or volleyball.Close enough! The horsepower of your outboard motor is greater than that of your car motor.Well, no boat You pass up a trip abroad to go to the Crawfish Festival in Breaux Bridge.umm...no The four basic food groups are boiled seafood, broiled seafood, fried seafood and beerdon't eat seafood, so not You are asked to name the holy trinity and your reply is "onions, celery, bell pepper."True You let your black coffee cool, and find that it has gelled.Gotta love chicory! You describe a link of boudin and cracklins as "breakfast."Yeah, though we usually eat it at dinner - my mother can't take the smell in the morning Every once in a while, you have waterfront property.Right now, I have water property! Your mama announces each morning, "Well, I've got the rice cooking ... what will we have for dinner?"Not usually, but she's not from New Orleans None of your potential vacation destinations are north of the old Mississippi River Bridge (US 190).Sad, but true You refer to Louisiana winters as "Gumbo Weather."Yup You get a disappointing look from your wife and describe it as, "She passed me a pair of eyes."No, but I have heard it. A lot. You think of gravy as a beverage.Not a beverage, but a liquid, yeah! You greet your long lost friend at the Lafayette Regional Airport with "AAAAAAAYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. You sit down to eat boiled crawfish and your host says, "Don't eat the dead ones," and you know what he means.Yup You learned Bourre the hard way: Holding yourself upright in your crib.Something like that You don't know the real names of your friends, only their nicknames.I know their real names! I swear! At least for most of them... You give up Tabasco for LentOnly once. The next year was beignets You worry about a deceased family member returning in spring floods.Sad, but true You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday.Umm...sad, but yeah -- even when I didn't live in New Orleans, we took those days off... You push little old ladies out of the way to catch Mardi Gras throws.Only once or twice....they are vicious creatures! You leave a parade with footprints on your hands.I do the stepping, dearie! You believe that purple, green, and gold look good together Well, no, they don't, but they belong together anyways! Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled. Actually, it is...though my cousins have a loverly mispelled french last name! You know what a nutria is but you still pick it to represent your baseball team.Yeah, but Beaudreaux is so cute! You like your rice and your politics dirty.</i>It's always more interesting that way!</i> No matter where else you go in the world, you are always disappointed in the food.Yes!!!! Your loved one dies and you book a jazz band before you call the coroner.Umm...maybe? Your accent sounds nothing like Harry Connick, Jr's. Too true You can sing these jingles by heart: "Rosenberg's, Rosenberg's, 1825 Tulane;" "At the beach, at the beach, the Pontchartrain Beach..." And I find myself singing them now.... You ask, "How they running?" and "Are they fat?" but, you're inquiring about seafood quality and not the Cresent City Classic. True When a hurricane is imminent, you have a lot more faith in Nash Roberts than some Super Doppler 6000. Hell yeah! He and his chalkboard have been around for ages! Your town is low on the education chart, high on the obesity chart and you don't care because you're No. 1 on the party chart. Yupyupyup Nothing shocks you. Period. Ever. Pretty much... Your idea of health food is a baked potato instead of fries with your seafood platter....you mean it isn't? You have to take your coffee and favorite coffeemaker with you on a three-day trip.No coffee for me, only with beignets You have sno-ball stains on your shoes.Maybe.... You call tomato sauce "red gravy."Nope Your middle name is your mother's maiden name, or your father's mother's maiden name, or your mother's mother's maiden name, or your grandmother's mother's maiden name, or your grandfather's mother's maiden name.Nope. I am brand new! On certain spring days, Crawfish Monica is your breakfast. Nope, no seafood stuffs for me! Your house payment is less than your utility bill. The other way, but barely You've done your laundry in a bar. Only once.... You don't show your "pretties" during Mardi Gras. Hell, no! You know that Tchoupitoulas is a street and not a disease. What else would it be? You "boo" the mayor on national television. yes, and the gov. and the pres. You wear sweaters in because it ought to be cold. Well....no, not really. Your grandparents are called "Maw-Maw" and "Paw-Paw." Nope, not that bad. Granny. .Your Santa Claus rides an alligator and your favorite Saint is a football player. No, Santa's sled is pulled by opossum! Get it right, people! (There actually is a song "Pichon, the pink-nosed opossum") You suck heads, eat tail, sing the blues and you actually know where you got them shoes. Except for the seafood part, yeah You shake out your shoes before putting them on.Only sometimes, and when they have been outside You don't think it inappropriate to refer to a large adult male as "Li'l Bubba." There could be more than one Bubba in his family! You know why you should never, ever swim by the Lake Pontchartrain steps (for more than one reason). Yes, yes, yes You cringe every time you hear an actor with a Southern or Cajun accent in a "New Orleans-based" movie or TV show. God, yeah. And everytime someone tries to speak with a cajun accent....and when Japanese people try to say "N'Awlins" it's scary! You have to reset your clocks after every thunderstorm. ....sad, but true You waste more time navigating back streets than you would if you just sat in traffic. at least then you are moving! You still call the Fairmont Hotel, the Roosevelt. It's only the Fairmont if you are from out of town You consider garbage cans a legal step to protecting your parking space on a public street. I have a driveway, so no, not really. Not for me, anyways You fall asleep to the soothing sounds of four box fans. Actually, we have central AC, so it's only one floor fan Your one-martini lunch becomes a five-bloody mary afternoon... and you keep your job. I don't know anyone who has ever had a one martini lunch....And I don't like Bloody Marys.....Do glasses of wine count instead? Being in a jam at Tulane and Broad isn't the same as being stuck in traffic. No, dear God, it's worse! You're walking in the French Quarter with a plastic cup of beer. When it starts to rain, you cover your beer instead of your head. Well, yeah! Watered down beer tastes bad! And it's not like covering my head will help me stay dry.... You eat dinner out and spend the entire meal talking about all the other good places you've eaten. What else are you supposed to do but talk about food....? You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from New Orleans. ...kinda |
| | imasisara (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.2){kind=small} imasisara) wrote, |
I couln't help it after I saw about a thousand of them.....easily distracted, people!
September 2 2005, 12:28:20 UTC 6 years ago
I'd like to see this. :|
September 3 2005, 08:25:35 UTC 6 years ago
October 2 2005, 18:38:12 UTC 6 years ago
Hey!
How's everything going? Very excited to hear about Japan!! How's your family doing??November 7 2005, 17:50:43 UTC 6 years ago
December 13 2005, 06:59:46 UTC 6 years ago
But I had a dream about you the other night, that you were here and I went to your room and then I woke up and remembered you aren't here and it SUCKED. I need you for liiiiiife.